It's that time of year! I am obsessively making lists, checking them twice (times a million), decorating, wrapping, socializing (sort of, it's me afterall), and reflecting on 2010. Man, I'm looking forward to 2011, but have been trying to think of all the good things that have happened this past year. One thing stands out in particular: I am learning to "get over it."
My parents love to taunt me about my ability to hold a mean grudge. What I don't know if they understand is that I am not holding a grudge, but rather I have made a decision about something and damned if I'm going to change my mind and make myself feel like I was wrong. This stupid character flaw has cost me friendships and opportunities, and caused a ridiculous amount of unwarranted stress. However, I realize that in the past few years, more and more frequently I just "get over it." I feel a new sense of Zen and the huge relief of being able to let go.
Let's use Rachael Ray as an example of how I have improved. I know many people do not like Rachel Ray for various reasons. My original reason was that I thought she inaccurately represented her background by claiming she is from the Adirondacks. Clearly, Lake George is in the Adirondacks, but to my NoCo country self, I felt that claiming you are all down to earth because you are from the Adirondacks when you are from touristy Lake George was not fair. I know, ridiculous. From there I decided I couldn't stand her accent, and I especially couldn't stand the way she would use the abbreviation "EVOO" and then say "extra virgin olive oil" right after that. Why would you bother to abbreviate if you are just going to say it?
I now will freely say: I like Rachael Ray. Her 30 min meals can be tasty. She doesn't seem to be a jerk. Most importantly, EVOOextravirginoliveoil does not affect me. Who cares if she says EVOOextravirginoliveoil?
This is a metaphor, of course, for the stupid snap decisions I have made over the years. I am happy and proud that, dare I say it, I am much more laid back than I used to be. I feel more at peace with the world and am enjoying my ability to just get over it. I feel good when I discover that I enjoy something I used to dislike, that I have a friend in someone whom I realize has not wronged me; that it is ok to change my mind and I don't have to be a weird hard-ass and stand by my own irrational feelings for eternity. Perhaps at the heart of it, I've learned to forgive myself for making stupid judgements.
[Note: Do not be afraid, this post is making it sound like I hate everything and everyone, which is certainly not true. I simply mean to highlight my ability to get over superficial roadblocks to being happy! Chances are I love each of you reading this...]
In closing, I like a lot of things. I have wonderful, wonderful friends and family. My head is filled with lovely thoughts for you this holiday season, and a bright outlook for 2011.
PS - My friend asks a good question about how to live our lives. Ah, it's the time of year for reflection.